Carl Beach, owner of Great Food and Company in Staatsburg, likes at-home weddings the best. "There's definitely a more comfortable feeling, and less stress, because everything is familiar to the couple," he says. "A lot of people choose to marry at home because it's a place everybody knows, or maybe they want to share their new house or show off the garden they've been working on together. Often couples get married at one of their parents' houses because they want their friends to see their childhood home, which the parents always love. The guests like it better too—it loosens people up and makes for a better time when people are not in a hotel or a fancy room somewhere unfamiliar."

So, say Coenen and Beach, with careful consideration of the wedding's key elements, you can plan a home wedding that will be all the more memorable for both you and your guests—by making it truly all about you.

The first step in planning a home wedding is conducting a house and property inspection with your caterer or planner. Together, determine the tent's size and location, if the wedding is outdoors, or which indoor rooms will be used. Also establish whether portable toilets are needed (often the case with old, country houses equipped with septic tanks), whether the kitchen is adequate or a generator needs to be rented to run an outdoor kitchen, where guests will park, where to situate the various stages of the wedding (guests' arrival, ceremony, cocktail hour, reception, and dancing), and how you'll decorate.

"Often couples have a very clear idea of what they want, so we'll make recommendations if we've seen something in the past work smoother," says Beach. "Sometimes they only know they want a home wedding, and we need to suggest creative solutions to circumvent potential problems. But that can actually add to the wedding's uniqueness. For instance, we once arranged offsite parking and transported the guests to the wedding in a hay wagon, which everybody loved."

First on Coenen's list is weather insurance. "Do plan on renting a tent no matter what," she says. "Many brides see pictures of weddings in beautiful meadows in bridal magazines, but here in the Hudson Valley, weather is unpredictable. You don't want your guests to get wet in the rain, or Granny to melt if it's hot. You need protection and shade."

Once the wedding's infrastructure is in place, you can "start to make magic happen," Coenen says. "I like to get a layout of the land and determine how best to use it. I walk around the property and find focal points—when guests arrive, what will they see? Will we cover the walk with flower petals, or create an arbor?" Fashioning separate settings for the ceremony and reception is a must. "You want something set apart"—up a little hill, in a special room, on the terrace, in the garden, in a clearing—"so people have to journey a bit to get to it. Then they can come back to the tent or great room for cocktails and the reception."

Following the site visit, Coenen looks through the house for "what the family has that's important to them, either to use as decoration or to bring out to represent somebody—things you definitely wouldn't bring to a hall but you can certainly use at home." For instance, she says, a special bowl, ginger jar, or vase that belonged to a relative can hold place cards displayed on curly willow branches. One client, whose German ancestors made linens, used her own antique tablecloths, along with 100 antique linen napkins. For her sister's wedding, which Coenen hosted, an antique  collection of teapots, teacups, and platters was brought out.

Couples should also "express their ethnicity and interests" in their décor, says Coenen. She's done Chinese weddings with red tablecloths and red lanterns in the woods to delineate the path to the ceremony. One couple planning to honeymoon in Italy named each table after a city they would visit; another topped each table with a miniature copy of a famous painting and keyed the place cards to it.

Beach says getting married at home automatically saves a couple approximately $5,000 for site rental, but it doesn't necessarily decrease the overall cost. "There's still the tent, perhaps portable toilets, the menu, the cake, the flowers, the bar, the entertainment," he says, "plus anything else you want to include to make it really special, like transportation from the parking area. It can get pricey if you're not careful."

Instead, says Coenen, cut costs in self-expressive ways. Consider offering a variety of interesting punches instead of liquor and wine; or feature dramatic single-flower arrangements instead of costly floral arrangements. "An October bride filled tall glass cylinders with black stones and curly willow, then added a single gladiola to each one and surrounded it with votive candles. It was inexpensive, very elegant, unobtrusive, and fuss-free."

Ensure your neighbors don't complain about the noise and commotion of your wedding by inviting them along—or at least informing them what to expect. "Let people know there'll be a band until 11pm, or a lot of parked cars," says Beach. It's proper etiquette, and circumvents problems like blocked driveways or calls to the police regarding the noise level, and can even gain cooperation. One of Coenen's clients told her neighbors she was expecting many wedding guests, and was pleasantly surprised to be offered a tree farm for parking.

Your kitchen probably won't suffice for a caterer who's preparing for 120 guests—the size of the average local wedding—so your menu must be prepared ahead of time and reheated in a hotbox onsite, possibly requiring a generator. "Lasagnas and soups keep well, but filet mignon is probably out of the question, unless there's a good, large kitchen handy," says Beach; likewise, says Coenen, transported, pre-baked pastries should be avoided. "Stay with fresh foods in season" she says. "May is spring greens and asparagus; October is apples, figs, and squash."

Always hire professionals, warns Coenen. Otherwise, there's a tendency for the bride to become overstressed, or for friends to get tipsy while playing DJ or wander into the woods to argue with their girlfriend instead of serving drinks. Let your guests—and yourself—party heartily and without responsibilities.

Home weddings tend to be somewhat less formal than those held in a church or catering hall, so have fun with your apparel. Outdoor home weddings in the summer are perfect for garden party dresses in chiffon, chintz, or organza; while the groom might wear a light-colored suit or silk shirt and trousers. Brides using a tent should try the chic, understated look, while the groom can either don the traditional tux in black or white or go for a more formal suit. Choice of shoes for a bride depends on the setting. Indoors or on a tent's wooden floor, low heels are fine, but stick to flat shoes for the lawn, meadow, or garden or you'll find yourself scuttling.