Reward: Have You Seen This Dollchild?

Where in crikey is my doll?

Said missing Dancerina was the first of the battery-operated ballet dolls of the 1960s, and I received one from my parents on my fifth birthday. She came with a 45 RPM record of selections from The Nutcracker. By pushing down the large button in the center of her crown, she spun in circles; pulling it up made her hop on her toes.

Dancerina is MIA. AWOL. Just gone since 2001. Possibly stolen, but also quite probably mentally deranged and has taken on a life of her own and escaped. The talking Pee Wee Herman doll, Mini Me, and Bill The Cat, who also shared the shelf with Dancerina, are thankfully still with me.

Also missing: a garlic press, garnet/pearl bracelet, and stack of new wave vinyl records. Just fucking gone. Where'd all my shit go? Is Dancerina somewhere wearing my jewelry, listening to The Cars and making pesto?

I could buy another Dancerina on eBay for fifty bucks, sure. But it wouldn't be the same. I want my Dancerina. Incidentally, knowing what a thieving bitch she is after all these years together, should I really care to consort with another one of her kind?

All right. I admit that I kept her locked in a trunk for many years. Even so, is this the thanks I deserve?

Still, I'm a nostalgia junkie and I want her back! If any of you (my three readers) have seen my Dancerina doll, please e-mail me at factory22@gmail.com. Some great reward is entirely possible (maybe even a Depeche Mode CD!).